Dogs keep AWAY the nonsense

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We have a Boxer and for people who don’t know about dogs they always mistake him for a Pitbull, which many people are terrified of. My buddy Brenda over at  FourLeggedMom.com can cosign that neither of them are natural born killers.

Actually Boxers are quite friendly and very good with children.

But I rarely fear people  while we are walking our dog. In most cases, he keeps them away. You see they cross the street or step aside.

AND the best part is when they go running back to their car or inside their house. IF they only recognized that the running just excites him, so many times I have had to hold him back so he wouldn’t run over to join in the silly game they started.

Mind you, I have him on a leash at all times.

Yes. I secretly giggle to myself when these things occur.

What is even better you ask?

Let me tell you when a salesperson knocks on the door and hears his bark. Priceless moments!

Many will just leave the papers at the door before I even answer. The ones who do remain at the door? Oh I just stand with the door open while my dog is checking them out.

Do I pull my dog away?

Nope, it’s his house and he is not trespassing.

I am pretty sure we have set records with how fast they wrap up their sales pitch.

And when that annoying family member or friend stops by unexpectedly…….

Well, I’ll just leave that to your imagination.

Just remember dogs keep away the nonsense! That is part of the reason a dog is man and woman’s best friend!

 

Are you a dog lover? You wouldn’t run from my doggie would you?

 

From more about my precious Boxer be sure to check out If my dog could talk.

Filed Under: just for laughs Tagged With: , , ,

How to avoid a nosey neighbor

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nosey neighbors pics on Sodahead

I have a nosey neighbor, not just the kind that looks out the window and watches the neighborhood all day long, I actually like those kind of neighbors.

No this neighbor is exhausting to talk to and drains you dry before you can even get to your front door.

Well I finally came up with a few tips to deal with this neighbor that I thought I’d pass along. And be sure to leave yours in the comments. I’m listening.

When I drive into the neighborhood and see her outside I drive really slow waiting for her to go inside. And sometimes I sit in the car pretending to talk on the phone if I need extra time.

If she is messing around in the yard like she does sometimes I grab my son and run for dear life to the front door.

Since we live in the same building we used to run into each other in the laundry room. Not anymore, I figured out her schedule and I do laundry on opposite days.

Of course she is always trying to invite us over for dinner and to hang out. Nope I don’t think so!

I just nod my head and smile when she mentions it knowing any date she sets we will be busy.

Don’t get me wrong I like her but she asks too many questions about private details of our life and I don’t roll like that.

This next method is a last option. I repeat last option!! Try this at your own risk of the relationship.

Sometimes when she starts talking and asking those nosey questions I pretend I can’t hear her and just walk off.

And yes. I’m serious.

So tell me what would you add?

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WTH?!? Don’t you say that!

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Source:  Pinterest

 

Okay, let me get right to the point. We all know the holidays are here and the time to exchange gifts is upon us! I need to know you are ready with something nice to say.

I know you all are aware of the gifts that are the so called “bad gifts”.  BUT we have to remember it is not about the gift but the spirit in which it is being given, right?

So with that said. I made a few notes for you to refer to after opening a crappy heartfelt gift.

First of all do not start your response with anything What the ****?  It’s just not the way to go.

I am not saying lie and say you love it,  a simple thank you will suffice.

Next. Well, you might have to practice this one in a mirror a few times but it is a must. Find your happy face. Sometimes after receiving a bad gift your face automatically goes into disappointment mode, so you’ll need to train. I recommend starting the night before the big day.

Now, you are not to switch gifts when no one is looking!

But what you might do is leave your gift for exchanging in the car, by accident, until you see exactly what type of goods people are pulling out. This can be tricky but with a little creativity you can pull it off. The key is to have more than one gift, just in case you need the back up gift, you know the crappy one.

No laughing at gifts. No pointing. No saying, thank goodness I didn’t get that or that sucks. But you can take pictures, if appropriate, and then email them to me. I love a good laugh!

Seriously, be mindful of the TRUE reason for the season and know that gifts aren’t everything. 

 

Happy Holidays and remember don’t you say that!

 

How do you respond after receiving a gift that is undesirable? Please tell me about in the comments, I wanna know! 

Filed Under: Holidays, just for laughs Tagged With: , ,

Good gift idea gone bad

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This story is not one of my proudest moments and I am a little ashamed about what I am about to share. But I will tell you this took place almost ten years ago when I was still a young twenty something and somewhat stupid.

My husband and I had recently moved into an apartment and upstairs lived a woman who was around my age. She definitely seemed like someone I wanted to connect with and be friends. One day in one of our brief chats, she mentioned she really loved caramel candy covered apples. They were sold at a candy store at the mall nearby and were presliced.

 

 

 

Sounds and looks yummy? Yes, I know.

So after learning about one of her favorite goodies, I figured I would buy her one at the store.

I brought it home as if it was the most precious item of all time. It was already nicely wrapped so I just needed to give it to her.

Well for two days she never responded to my messages. I figured she didn’t want my token of friendship.

Therefore, I did what any rational person would do.

I ate a slice.

And as you would expect later that day there was a knock on the door. Apparently she hadn’t gotten my messages until that day. (Remember it was ten years ago, technology has changed since then).

So I give her the yummy treat with my explanation of the missing piece.

Nope, not the one about me eating it.

I told her that a slice fell off of it and instead of trying to fit it back in. I just got rid of it.

How lame is that?

I am not sure if she bought that reasoning or not but she moved away shortly after that and I never saw her again. I guess a partially eaten caramel candy apple won’t seal a friendship.

How could I let a good gift idea go so wrong? Has this ever happened to you?

This post is part of a writing prompt and link up for Hooked and Happy. After leaving your comments here, stop over and check out some other bad gift exchanges. Pretty please, I really don’t want you to think I’m the only one who ever gave a bad gift. And if you have a story idea you may still have time to link up a post.

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Filed Under: confessions, just for laughs Tagged With: ,

Tale of a sleepless night

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You always hear the stories of the baby crying and keeping everyone awake, right?

 

Well this is the true story of how a husband can trigger a sleepless night, and I’m not talking about the good kind either.

 

Here we go………………….

 

All day I’d been asking my Husband what time do you need to leave for the fundraiser event and do you have everything?

The only responses I get from dear Husband are random mumblings about checking emails and returning some phone calls.

So I figure whatever, he is an adult and around 10pm I go to bed.

At 1130p

 

HUSBAND: Oh, I need to go get gas!! He then panics through the bedroom like a lost puppy.

ME: ok

HUSBAND: 2mins later, I need your keys.

ME: Hesistant, but gives him the keys. Fearful he will lose mine too!

HUSBAND: 1min later triggers alarm

HUSBAND: returns 10 minutes later, triggers alarm.

ME: Do you have toll money?

HUSBAND: Oh no! I paid for the gas with cash.

ME: Pulls $10 out of purse, is that enough?

HUSBAND: (anxious) I don’t know.

ME: Now getting out of bed. Here are some quarters.

HUSBAND: You are not giving me hardly anything!!

ME: Well, GIVE IT BACK!!!

HUSBAND: Leaves with money in hand.

HUSBAND: 8 minutes later, do you have any sun block?

ME: blank stare

HUSBAND: Just tell me, yes or no. You don’t need it, right?

ME: Crawls out of bed gets him new bottle of sun block from bathroom cabinet.

Afterwards, I peak in to check on our son.

HUSBAND: I am going to sleep on couch so I don’t wake you.

ME: blank stare, pulls blanket over head.

HUSBAND: 20 minutes later, it’s too hot in there.

Me: (random thoughts about the air condition less than 2ft away)

300am Clock Alarm Goes off

 

HUSBAND: 10 minutes later, can you lock the door? I don’t know where my house keys are.

ME: Sure, sleep walks to door.

HUSBAND: 1.5hr later son yells out for help!

SON: I’m scared.

ME: Reassures son, lots of hugs and kisses.

An hour later

 

DOG: Barks at newspaper delivery guy (never mind we don’t even subscribe to it, but it keeps showing up at our door)

ME: Checks door, son, verifies alarm system, back to bed.

At 730am

 

HUSBAND calls on the phone: Wow! You are still in bed, you are so lucky son is still sleeping and you can sleep late.

Me exhaustedly: Glad you arrived safely. Click

At 740am

 

Son wakes up

And so my day begins, sleep or not.

 

If you have ever had a night like this, feel free to share your story by leaving a comment.

 

Note: This post was originally posted in my very first blog that no longer exists, but I thought I would bring it back and share it with you. Hope you enjoyed the tale of a sleepless night.

Filed Under: just for laughs, marriage Tagged With: ,

The Scariest Halloween Weekend EVER

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It all started like any other Saturday morning….until I went outside to walk the dog. While I stood there I noticed a strange but familiar aroma in the air. I began to look around and then briefly scan the mysterious grey sky.

It was at that moment that chills went through my body and I felt my heart skip a beat, maybe two.

It was a vision that had haunted me many times before. During most of my life in South Carolina, I remember people going into hiding when this occurred. It was just too much for the Palmetto state.

Now living in the northeast, the visitor was known to appear and stay much of the year, just never this early and definitely not this weekend.

As I finally gathered my dog and returned inside I knew I had to do something because it was coming and coming soon. So I did what I had been trained to do.

Off to the grocery store to gather food and supplies.

There wasn’t time to get the past equipment from storage so I had to buy new stuff. The financial sacrifice was worth it, because you can’t be without them.

Back home, I anxiously awaited. And then just as I had been warned, IT happened! It started to SNOW!

It snowed and snowed and snowed. Trees fell, cars were covered and sliding all over the road. Plans were interrupted and even cancelled. This snowstorm meant business!

BUT that wasn’t the worst part.

WHAT could be WORSE?

POWER OUTAGE!!!

No electricity, no heat, no INTERNET, no cable, absolutely nothing.

The haunted snow even left eight inches of it’s wrath behind just to taunt me even more.

AND that my friends, is the scariest Halloween weekend ever.

Just remember when it comes your way… You can’t run or hide, get your supplies and be prepared. This horror is relentless. Consider yourself warned.

BWAHhahahaha

So how did you spend your Halloween weekend?? Was it scary like mine?

Filed Under: just for laughs Tagged With:

Letter to the Bank President

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Dear Bank President,

I am writing to you because I am concerned about the reports that you will soon be charging fees for debit charges.

I’m a wife and mom just trying to make ends meet. I understand that you may not care about customers like me because you think it’s just $5. Well let me tell you that is $5 I’d rather not throw in the trash.

Truthfully it is a struggle for me to keep a zero balance and not go negative, but yet you want me to save our last few dollars so you can put them in your pocket. That’s just not right!

But you know what? I got some old school left in me; I still order checks and know how to use them. Yes the free checks, did you think I forgot?

And I still know how to go inside the bank and fill out withdrawal slips to get my money free of charge.

So just know I can play that game too. And at the same time I’ll keep your bank tellers employed and working. You won’t be cutting back on their workday and benefits on my watch.

Sure I know other banks charge crazy fees. There is one bank robbing me as I write this letter to you. The difference you ask? They were robbers from the start and have been consistent in their fees.

But you? I thought you might be different. I guess not.

So you are probably rolling your eyes and drinking your cognac thinking that I should just stop dealing with banks all together.

Well great idea, the problem is technology has taken the option away. Employers require direct deposit or they will hide your check where you’ll spend months looking for it. It’s not that easy.

I’m starting to think it is a conspiracy.

I just wonder if you ever knew what it was like to walk in my shoes. And if you did, when did you stop looking back?

Maybe I ought to just tuck my money under the mattress? Or in a tin can?

And to think there was a time when people were proud to start an account and put their money in the bank.

Now I find myself wondering how can I get my money back out of the hands of the bank?

With that said I won’t take any more of your time, because I’m just an average person and you’ve got millionaires to keep happy.

Sincerely,

 

A mom trying to remain optimistic about bank fees
What are your thoughts about banks adding fees for using debit cards? And just for fun, how many of you know how to function inside of a bank?

 

Filed Under: just for laughs, real talk Tagged With: , ,

Dear Santa…. I still believe

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santa-claus Pictures, Images and Photos
Photo Credit

Dear Santa,

I know it’s a little early but I wanted to beat the crowd. I just needed to clear somethings up before the holiday season.

I’m told if you don’t believe you don’t receive. With that said, I need to make sure you know I still believe. I know it’s been a few years since you and I talked, so that is why I’m writing you now.

You remember all those times I laughed at you and called you fat old man. I didn’t mean it.

When my son took holiday photos with you, and I was concerned that your teeth smile was going to take away from my son in the photo……….I was just joking around, kind of.

And the way you wear that red suit…… Well, no one does it quite like you. When I saw you in the mall last year it looked like it was on the verge of falling off, guess you been working out? Eh?

I know last year I forgot the milk and cookies, but I promise to do better this year. You drink wine, right?

Ultimately, I just wanted to make sure things were still good between us. Cause, I still believe.

I hope everything is going well at the North Pole and that you are enjoying a little rest and relaxation.

Your #1 believer,                                                                  

 

PS: Just a few simple requests before I go. You know I been extra good this year.

 

New House
$100,000
Mercedes Benz
And world peace.

Please and thank you. xoxo

So tell me do you still believe? What is on your Christmas wish list?

 

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If my dog could talk

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It’s a good thing my dog can’t talk but if he could I am pretty sure this is what he would say throughout the day.

First thing in the morning as he steps down off the couch after a long night of guarding the front door.

Still sleep? Of course, they are still sleep. They haven’t been holding their pee and poop for the last 12 hours. I guess I gotta wake them up. (sigh).

 As he walks by he kicks his empty food bowl and licks the little water left in the other.

 Come on guys get out of the bed! This is not a drill you know how this goes.

During morning walk

Why are you holding my leash so tight? I can barely breathe! Exactly where do you think I am going to run off too? It may not be much but you all keep a roof over my head.

Mid morning

Excuse me, my bowl is empty. And can I get some water? Must I tell you this every single day!!! What is so difficult about this? The food is kept on the floor of the pantry, the same room you reach for your food. Geez!!

Afternoon

How long do you think I can survive without water? It is right there!! I’ve seen you wash your hands in the sink a million times already, you germaphobe!

Naptime

I can’t believe you just woke me up for snoring. Are you serious? All the sounds I hear coming out of your bedroom some nights and you have the nerve to wake me up for a few snorts. Rolls eyes…..

Later in the afternoon

I can’t wait for cooler temperatures; you’d think you all didn’t have air condition. This hair is hot!! Maybe if you brushed me a little more often I would have an extra five pounds weighing me down. That’s okay I’ll just leave a little here and there around the house…..I’ll teach you!

Afterschool

Oh goodness! The kid is back! Somebody hide me! Why won’t he just leave me alone. Here comes with his peanut butter and jelly covered hands to rub all over me. And what is that he is holding? A marker, NO! NO! NO!

I can’t believe they let the kid do this to me. I have been here way longer than him, this is not FAIR! 

Evening

You do realize I need to go out again, right? We do this every day, why can’t you get it right? I don’t understand, you go to the bathroom 10 times a day and think twice is too much for me. My bladder is not the size of a gas tank! And I dare not leak any, you get all upset!  Just wait until you are 72 years old and see how long you can wait.

Bedtime after 11p news

Whoa! Look what happen to those dogs. They must have done something really bad or have really mean owners. Good thing I can’t talk because I might have had that happen to me with all the stuff I would have said.
 

As a matter of fact I better go guard the door just so there is no confusion about my loyalties.

 These are just a few of the things I know he would say. Do you have pets? What might they say. If you don’t have pets, what is stopping you? They can’t talk. Leave your response in the comments. You know I love hearing what you have to say.

 


Filed Under: just for laughs Tagged With: , ,

Thank Goodness it’s Friday

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A Dog’s Work is Never Done

Wishing you a wonderful weekend! Be sure to get some rest!

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