Va-JAY-JAY Are You Serious?

Today’s topic is not really kid appropriate, so send them out the room for this one.

Va-JAY-JAY. Okay. There I said it. Now let’s talk about it.

If you don’t know what Va-JAY-JAY means, I am going to tell you. Wait for it………… It is trendy term for VAGINA!

So this term has been around for quite some time now, and I recently viewed the word across the front page of my Cosmo magazine and it got me to thinking. Are you serious?

Why do women name their vagina? It is what it is, right? But then I began to worry maybe I should name my Va-JAY-JAY. Something like kitty kat, sweet potatoe pie, or candy apple?

Seriously, why do we do this to ourselves?

For me this puts the pressure on to come up with a name. What if I picked something that doesn’t always hold up? Like Kryptonite, I mean I like to think my husband gets weak and loses all physical strength, but what if after the deed he goes for a sandwich?

Then I wondered how long will a name last. If I name it now in my 30′s will I have to change it in my 50′s? The 40 somethings have already coined “cougar”, so can’t really use that.

I just don’t understand.

Again, Are you serious?

When do we find the time to come up with this stuff?

I won’t ask you what names you have for your sexual parts, but I would like to know why do we name them? Do you think it is a turn on? How do you come up with the name? Please tell me, I’m trying to decide if I should come up with a fun trendy name for her.

My Confession: An EXTENDED Bikini Wax

Stepped out of my comfort zone for An EXTENDED bikini wax

Recently, I was fortunate to receive a gift certificate to an upscale spa & salon. I immediately assumed I would get the usual massage and manicure & pedicure.

As I browsed over the services I noticed the waxing options and figured I might get my eyebrows waxed too. I continued browsing and then I saw “the bikini wax” I was embarrassed just looking at it. What would my mother say about this? What would people think about the BIKINI wax?

I mentioned it to my husband and of course he thought it was a great idea. Go figure, right?

Well, the next day I called to make an appt. The receptionist asked, would you like the basic or the extended…….. Ummmm, the extended I guess. Generally, I would have chosen the cheaper, but it was a gift so I went all out.

At that time I didn’t know that was the politically acceptable term for Brazilian wax!!

So I arrived for the appointment very nervous and somewhat embarrassed as if the walls were talking about me.

I entered the room and the technician instructed me to disrobe from the waist down and lie on the table with a towel covering the lower half.

She returns and explains she goes really fast, and that there is no warning. Apparently the object of surprise is in my best interest.

The hot wax is applied and then the strips for hair removal. She pulls it off quickly as she indicated and I am pretty sure I had an outer body experience. My entire body shook with pain and tears began to form (but I didn’t cry!)

So I opted for complete hair removal, but still had no idea what I had committed to. So once all was removed….well what I thought was all, then the technician instructed me to turn over on all four.

Okay, now I’m thinking, is this for real? Am I being punk’d? Is this some freaky stuff, because I don’t play that!

So after some hesitation and additional explanation I positioned myself in a way for the first time that no one had seen, well almost….. I am married.

She performed the same process as before and I felt so bad. Like one of the girls my mom told me not to hang out with in high school.

When all was done, well, again so I thought. She begins to apply a light ointment to the waxed areas. Now I’m really feeling weird, especially since I have nothing to compare this to.

So now it really is over, she leaves me to get dressed and I peak in the mirror and “whoa!” where have you been? It’s been years since I had this visual. And now I must admit I’m pretty excited and can’t wait for my husband to see this.

Well, I’ll spare you the details of our reunion but let’s just say sometimes it is good to change things up. The extended bikini wax was painful the first time! Notice I said the first time, however it gets easier and the rewards are worth it. Try it for yourself, if you dare.

Consider stepping out of your comfort zone for whatever reason. It may not be a bikini wax, it could be a new hair cut or nail polish. Instead of wondering about it, just do it. I won’t tell, but you can. Leave a comment telling me how you stepped out of your comfort zone to change things up.

Just remember this is not an adult content site.

Are you Serious? I AM MARRIED

Does a wedding ring mean anything?

I always thought a wedding ring was a symbol of love and commitment, you know the til death due us part stuff. When I was in the dating game, many years ago, I NEVER would have given a man with a wedding ring a second look. For me, a wedding ring meant a man was OFF limits!!

So now that I have been married for 9 years, I expect the same courtesy from a person who is on the prowl. Well, I don’t know what has changed over the years but my traditional ways of thinking are being challenged by some of these nontraditional guys.

Of course, I am going to tell you about it….. Just keep reading. 

Recently, I was sitting in a Barnes & Noble Starbucks Cafe where a young man and woman were chatting. As I overheard their conversation, sounds like they were getting to know each other for the possibility of future dates. At the end of their meeting, they exchanged phone numbers. Shortly, after he walked her out, he returned to my table.

Him: I was wondering what you are doing tonight?
Me: Going home to my husband and son.
Him: Oh, I see your wedding ring. (Pause). I was wondering, if we could go out on a date sometime?
Me: I have been MARRIED for 9 years and I got to 9 years by being faithful to my husband.
Him: I see. Do you have any friends that I could hook up with?
Me: Exactly, how old are you?
Him: 22
Me: Well, I am 10 years older than you. All of my friends are MARRIED or in relationships.
Him: I don’t believe you are that old.
Me: Believe it. (Now, I am really in awe that he is still standing at my table).
Him: No, are you serious?
Me: Yes. (Somewhat irritated, and a little nervous that my husband will appear and teach this young man a lesson on respecting the wedding ring).
Him: Okay, nice meeting you.
Me: Good bye. (Laughing under my breathe).
My girlfriend, who I was meeting, arrived a few minutes later and I told her about it. She was in disgust. I shared the story with my husband and father in law, and they agreed that times have changed and people disrespect what a wedding ring means.

I have had a couple of other similar episodes, while wearing my wedding ring, but this last one was too much!

(Don’t get me wrong, I did have a few laughs looking back on the events. Watching them pick their face off of the floor is priceless, now they know I don’t play that!)

So I ask you, do you think people no longer acknowledge that a wedding ring means OFF limits? If you are married, tell me do you wear your wedding ring? Why or why not? Let’s talk about it, leave your thoughts in a comment.
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