Enter through the BACK door – Are you Serious?

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It’s been awhile since I have been truly inspired to write one of my world famous Are you Serious? posts. Okay. Okay. Only world famous in my mind. Just let me have my moment please.

I didn’t want to force one of these posts because that is not what blogging is about for me, but after a conversation with my dear mother in law I knew it was time. Because after our talk all I could say was…..

ARE. YOU. SERIOUS?

I was describing to my mother in law the home that we hope to soon move in to. Keeping my fingers crossed, but that is another post. Anyway, I told her that the room you first enter from the front door has really nice hard wood floors, a fire place, a nice view of the yard, and I hope to make it a sitting room. You know, a room for the ladies to gather and relax while the men watch television in the other room and do “man stuff”.

I went on the explain how I look forward to making it really nice and decorating it in a special way.

And this is where it begins.

She says, I wouldn’t let anyone walk through that room.

Me: What do you mean?

MIL: You don’t want people walking through the house.

Me: Well, how are they suppose to get in the house? And how will I show the room?

MIL: Oh, I would keep people out of that room. Do you have a back door?

Me: Yes, but you have to go through the front yard, around to the gate and walk around through the grassy backyard?

MIL: Hmmm….what about the garage? Can you bring people through the garage?

Me to myself: WHAT the &*%?

Me: Well, I don’t think I want to do that. I want people to see the room. I can put a rug down for people to walk in, but they have to get into the house and that is the first room.

MIL: Oh no. I wouldn’t let anyone walk through that room.

Me to myself: So exactly when are people suppose to see and enjoy the room? At my wake?

Me: Not me. I’m okay with it. If I’m blessed with the house I’m showing it off.

MIL: They can enter through the back door.

Me to myself: ARE. YOU. SERIOUS?

So tell me. Would you ever bring people into your home through the grassy backyard to enter in through the backdoor? I’m listening.

Disclaimer: I absolutely love my mother in law….you know just in case she ever gets a computer and learns how to use it and stumbles upon this site.

Filed Under: are you serious Tagged With: are you serious?, back door, guests, house entry

Are you SERIOUS moments – Starring a 4 year old

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Photo Credit - Funny Things Kids Say by Momaroo.com

From time to time I have these are you serious moments that reflect the real life scenarios that I have somehow encountered.

Today I’m taking about the craziness of my four year old that makes me wonder Are. You. Serious?

This is a very brief recap of the holiday episodes away from home.

***************************************************************************************************************

Usually my son wakes up daily no later than 7:30am sharp! Let me tell you every single day while we were away his feet did not hit the floor before 9:30am sometimes 10am!

The first day back at our house just guess what time he wakes up. 7:30? Nope. Freaking 4am!!

Are you Serious? Sadly. I am.

I’ve told my son at least five thousand times to walk, not run down the stairs. And of course, after the Christmas dinner a kid goes flying through the air off the stair case, hitting the floor and sliding across the throw rug.

Yes. That some kid would be my son. Watched it with my own eyes.

Yes. I am serious. I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to.

And one of the greatest moments was while on the highway in 5 O’clock traffic he yells out he has to poop! Mind you we just stopped for him to pee a few miles back. Being the ~~sucker~~ good parents we are we got off the interstate and drove twenty minutes through nowhere to find a coffee shop with a public restroom. Worked out for me because I got to get a treat.

My son? Oh he just had gas. No poop.

Seriously? Yes. I’m still in disbelief.

****************************************************************************************************************

Once we returned home….

I thought it would be a great idea to explain that a New Year is upon on us and give examples of events we would see in 2012, like his 5th birthday. Seems pretty harmless, right?

I thought so until he woke up New Year’s Day asking if it was his birthday.

Really? Not kidding one bit.

We went to church New Year’s Day, which is not new for a typical Sunday morning. It was 1st Sunday which meant communion, again nothing new.

But this particular day while at the alter and the Pastor passing the crackers and grape juice, a child asked is it snack time?

That child? Mine.

Seriously? Yes.

Does your child do and say the craziest things at the most inappropriate moments? Tell me about in the comments. I love knowing I have company.

********************************************************************************************************************

For additional funny things kids say check out the article I found by Mommaroo.com

Filed Under: are you serious, Parenting Tagged With: are you serious?, craziness, kids

Are you serious? – Holidays Part I

35 Comments

Last week I mentioned that it is the most wonderful time of the year and we counted down so blissfully the days left to those glorious holidays.

WELL, What I didn’t tell you about are those dreaded moments that are quickly approaching that will make you gasp and say

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Today is the day. We are talking about it!! Let’s get started.

You have been planning the perfect Thanksgiving dinner for weeks and have everything perfectly timed. You are the host for the family this year and can’t wait to show them you can do it. All the supplies have been in place for days, and you picked out the most beautiful twenty five pound turkey that you are so eager to prepare. A week ago you pulled it out of the freezer and buried it in the refrigerator to await the big day. Thanksgiving morning you awake early anxious to start the meal, you open the refrigerator and it is no where to be found. You begin to panic, and yell for help! Your husband enters the room and you ask where is the turkey?!?! His response, oh it was taking up too much room in the refrigerator, I put it in the freezer a couple of days ago.

The day after Thanksgiving you arrive at the shopping mall at 1am, you have developed the perfect strategy to get all the number one items of your children’s list for Santa. You have the map of the store and a directory in one hand and coffee in the other. The doors open at 5am and you take off running. Three hours later, and a few bumps and bruises you make your way to the checkout line and wait another hour. Finally as you start to give your self a pat on the back you reach for your wallet only to realize it isn’t in your everyday purse. WHY? Because the everyday purse didn’t match the outfit you carried to the holiday dinner, so you took your wallet out of that one.

You arrive to the office holiday party all dressed up and ready to have a good time. Things are going great and you are having fun. At 10pm they start to open the gifts for the Christmas exchange. Yes, remember that email you never read. Well, attached to your email was the name of your secret Santa buddy.

Your mother in law spends all weekend baking cookies and decorating yummy treats. She has prepared over 200 containers of holiday goodies for the children at the school. As you walk into the school feeling like super mom, she notices a sign on the door and starts to look rather lightheaded. Apparently, she didn’t get the memo……

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Stay tuned for more to come………

Have you ever had an Are you serious holiday moment? Please share in the comments. I can’t wait to add to the list.

Filed Under: are you serious Tagged With: dinner, holidays, secret santa, shopping

Mess with my Child? Are you serious?

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Growing up my mama was one of the quietest and most reserved women you would ever meet. She was a stay at home mom, definitely not a social butterfly. She took pride in caring for her husband, children, and home.

BUT looking back there were a few times mama wasn’t so quiet. Like the time when I was in kindergarten I had a little “accident” and got my clothes wet. The teacher had me sit outside alone so that my clothes could dry. I still remember the older kids walking by laughing at me.

Well later that day when my mama heard about this from one of my relatives attending the school, she immediately showed up at the school with her posse ready to open a can of whoop yo ***.

Best to my memory, no one got hurt that day.

However, I never had any issues with getting permission for the bathroom ever again, including all of elementary and middle school.

Coincidence? Maybe?

There weren’t many of the mess with my child moments, but it brought out the crazy in my mama.

With that said, I guess I got it honest.

Mess with my child? Are you serious?

I am that mom that keeps her eyes fixed on her child while visually recording all of the things that are going on.

Yes, I know kids will be kids. I am okay with that.

Push my kid, I probably won’t say much. He has done that once or twice.

Say mean things, hmmmm I’ll evaluate the situation.

Bully, intimidate, or make him cry?

Wait for it……………………………

As a parent, I now know why my parents behaved the way they did sometimes. I admit I used to get embarrassed and think that they were crazy. Now I know they wanted to do everything they could to protect me, and my siblings.

So every now and then, I might just become that crazy mama. And part of me feels good about that.

Have you ever let your inner crazy out to protect your child or someone you loved?

Filed Under: are you serious, Parenting Tagged With: crazy, kids, mom

You don’t check your breast? Are you Serious?

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Today’s are you serious post is one that isn’t a laughing matter.

We all have breasts, yes even the teeny tiny ones count here today in this post. And yes, I am talking to you DDD plus divas too! Why aren’t you checking your breasts? Don’t you know that early detection of breast cancer is key? Oh you didn’t know, that’s okay I will give you a pass because now you know! Once a month, you gotta feel the boobs, ta-tas, the girls, whatever you call them you gotta visually examine them, lift and look, rub and pat, squeeze and pinch.

Need help? Ask a friend. Yes, I am serious.

There are no excuses, we make time for texting, emails, twitter, facebook, reading blogs (gotcha!), etc…… So now let’s take the time to take care of self by checking your breasts.

If you don’t do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones. You don’t have loved ones? Well, please do it for me. Every time I see another breast cancer statistic increase it breaks my heart.

And men, you are NOT totally excluded, the risk for male breast cancer is small but it does exist. Be sure to check your family history, and to talk to your physician about your risk. If you notice something, don’t ignore it.

I repeat You don’t check your breast? Are you SERIOUS?

If I haven’t convinced you, then check out the video clip below for additional information. It is from one of my favorite daytime talk shows.

After reviewing the video, please share with me, and others, how you remember to perform your SBE (self breast exam) each month? Trust me, someone needs to know your tips. Please take a few moments to help someone who needs that information.

Filed Under: are you serious, real talk Tagged With: breast cancer

Back Seat Driver. Are you serious?

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We all know someone who is a backseat driver, right? And I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I annoy the crap out of my husband when he is driving and sometimes vice versa. (Note: I have gotten better with this, don’t judge me. I am a work in progress).

In most cases the back seat driver is someone who possesses a driver’s license or at minimum can reach the gas and brake pedals.

Well, today I want to tell you about my backseat driver. Yes, the four year old.

Am I serious? Yes, yes I am.

Let’s examine a series of my “favorite” conversations on any given day in the car, aka Are you serious moments.

There is morning dew on the front windshield.

Son: Can you turn on the wipers to clear that water?

Me: Can you let me finish getting in the car? Put your seat belt on.

Son: Can you clear my windows?

Me: No, we only have wipers in the front and back.

Son: I can’t see.

Me: Only the driver needs to see.

When using the GPS

Son: I can’t see the screen.

Me: This is a GPS for directions, only the driver needs to see it.

Son: Are you sure you are going the right way?

Me: Yes, I actually have been there several times before.

Son: The GPS told you to turn left, but you didn’t turn left.

Me: I know, I have been there before so I go a little different from the GPS.

Driving through a busy pedestrian area

Son: Don’t hit that lady.

Me: I see the lady that is why I stopped the car so she could walk across.

Son: It would hurt her if you ran over her body.

Me: That is why I stopped.

Driving on the highway

Son: You need to go faster.

Me: No, I don’t need to go faster. I am the driver and I am driving to keep us safe.

Son: Can you go around that big truck?

Me: No there are cars in the other lane. And maybe I want to drive in this lane.

Son: Well, I can’t see.

Me: Only the driver needs to see.

Driving through town

Son: Did you see that red light?

Me: Yes, it wasn’t red when we were going through it.

Son: You are supposed to stop at red lights.

Me: Not when you are in the middle of the road.

Son: Can you turn right to go to the store?

Me: No, we are not going to the store today.

Son: {Big sigh}

Son: There are a lot of bumps on this road. Can you go around them?

Me: No, there is a lot of construction on this road they are working on paving it.

Son: Can you drive on the other side?

Me: Not when our turn is on this side.

In the rain

Son: I think you need to make the wipers go faster.

Me: I can see.

Son: I can’t see.

Me: Only the driver needs to see.

Arriving home

Me: Just get out the car.

Son: I love riding in the car.

Me: Are you Serious?

These are just a FEW of my son’s backseat driving moments. Who knew four year olds had so much knowledge about driving?

This drives me crazy!!! Sure I laugh about it now, but just imagine being the driver with a four year old giving you instructions. Again, I say. Back seat drivers, ARE YOU SERIOUS?

How do you handle backseat drivers, of all ages? I know you have had a few in your automobile before. Did you put them out of the car? Did you yell? Or do you just shake your head and think are you serious?

Filed Under: are you serious Tagged With: backseat driver

Another Gray Hair! Are you serious?

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I’m not one to get upset about things as you know. I just need to know what the real deal with gray hair is?

Don’t tell me it’s because I’m older. Cause the 30s are too fabulous for gray hair to be lurking around.

I don’t remember any of my grandparents having gray hair at this age. Wait, I wasn’t born then. Scratch that last statement.

I decided I had enough while looking in the mirror preparing for bed, two new gray hairs…..

Are you serious?

Now I’m up to six. Oh, who knows? It’s quite possible I’ve got a hundred or so in the back of my head. I should really look sometime.

That’s the trouble with a hair style that really doesn’t require a mirror.

(Note to self: time for a new hair style)

Gray hair, what does this mean? There must be some logical explanation, a vitamin deficiency, not enough sunshine, too much caffeine, not enough wine, SOMETHING!!

Gray hairs. Are you serious??

I won’t let them get the best of me. I remember I used to say I will embrace gray hair and grow old gracefully. That’s when I imagined Id be at least 50 before the first hairs even appeared!

Well you know me by now. If it gets worse and an outbreak occurs, I will make the best of it and I will grow gracefully.

Just maybe with a little help from a box of a little something something from the beauty salon.

Don’t judge me. I’m feeling pretty optimistic that everything is gonna be okay.

So what is your advice about gray hair? Is your hair under attack too? How did you fight it off? I’ve got to know!! Tell me about in the comments.

Filed Under: are you serious

Card declined. Are you serious?

19 Comments

I imagine it’s no secret that I am not a millionaire. I don’t have lots of extra money lying around unless you count the numerous brown coins that are hiding all over the place.In my college years, I remember many times standing at the checkout praying that I had enough funds to pay for the items I had. Sometimes I didn’t. Okay, I confess I still feel that way sometimes.

Card declined….

Are you serious?

The thing is when this happens, it does not matter the reason for the decline. The clerk has now labeled you.

Not only have you taken up space in the checkout line, now the clerk has to replace all your items.

Oh well, who cares about that…..

There are more important things going on, such as

trying to walk out of the store with some kind of dignity.

Well here are a few things you can try. Consider them freebies from someone who’s been there.

Try using one of these lines;

Really? Try it again. That must be a mistake. They’ll be getting a call from me!!

Oh I am so embarrassed I recently cancelled that card. I can’t believe it is still in my purse. Can you hold the items here until tomorrow? I’ll bring the new card then.

Wow! Are you serious? After almost an hour on the phone with the bank yesterday they still have my account mixed up….. (blank stare)…….absolutely unbelievable! (Big sigh, turn and walk away).

Now with this last attempt to maintain a little pride you must be 100% sure before you try this one. Ready for it?

Oh, card declined. Hmmmm interesting. Here try this card.

No matter what response you follow up with the key is to give it that total surprise response.

I know it is embarrassing but I also understand sometimes you just don’t have the money you thought, or hoped, that you had.

And when all else fails, just look them in the eye and say

Are you serious?

Although, I consider this post part of my are you serious topics, it is real talk.

Maybe you have never been in this type of situation and that is wonderful. If you have, now you know you are not alone.

So tell me how do you maintain your dignity in an embarrassing situation? Give me your best tips in the comments, cause I might need to use them.

Filed Under: are you serious Tagged With: card declined, dignity

Me a Vegan, Are you Serious?

24 Comments

At the gym recently while exercising I watched a report on CBS about the benefits of a vegan diet. Here is the link of the video clip from the CBS Early Show Going vegan goes more mainstream

I confess, I think it is a great lifestyle to consider. But ummm……not for me. At least not at this stage of my life. I work out several days a week, and I try to eat in reasonable moderation. At 33, I am in the best shape of my life and I feel good about that.

It’s just when they said, no eggs, cheese, or milk I was no longer interested. I think I would be okay without eating meat, well except bacon. It’s not really meat, right? Okay, I’d give up the bacon too.

But how can this southern girl just walk away from all the yumminess associated with eggs, cheese, and milk. To put it into perspective, I’m talking about ice cream, brownies, and milkshakes.

Just imagine I’d go south to visit for the holidays and be surrounded by every meat imaginable, but now I have to omit eggs, cheese, and milk. Exactly what am I suppose to eat?

You see there will be homemade macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, potato salad, corn bread, etc., etc..

And for dessert, they’ll be red velvet cake, pound cake, and much more.

Me a Vegan, Are you Serious?

I really think it is a great lifestyle. If you are a vegan I commend you. Maybe you can leave me some tips in the comments.

If you aren’t a vegan or vegetarian, have you considered it? Have you tried it? And what is your motivation?

Note: You can now like me on Facebook, click here Stop by and say hi.

Filed Under: are you serious, vegan, vegetarian

Buns of Steel…. Are you Serious?

15 Comments

Recently, I was at the checkout at the store and I saw a fitness magazine with a picture of what is commonly called Buns of Steel.

What bothered me isn’t the fact that a butt was on the magazine, it was that some women are going to go home thinking if they follow the tips they too will get buns of steel.

Are you Serious?

I know you are thinking, well it probably will work. Nope!! And that is why I had to write about this because you are the women I am talking about.

Some women got back and some don’t. Point blank. Case in point, I have been in the gym working out like crazy over the last couple of years and I don’t have buns of steel. See what I got below.

Nada. Nothing. Can’t hold up dust with my buns.

So just to be sure, I had not missed something I reviewed a few articles to ensure I had been doing the right exercise to get the alleged buns of steel. You can check out one article I reviewed here Top Ten Butt Exercises

I must confess I have not tried the biking and hiking to test those theories. Am I going to? Probably not. Two years worth of step, lunges, kick boxing, squats, etc., and now I gotta buy a bike and a climb a mountain.

Are you Serious?

You know I am okay with not having much back…. I just wanted to let you know it is okay too. And for you ladies that have junk in the trunk a big shout out to you!

For you viewing pleasure I included a little treat for you.

Don’t forget to leave your comments. Tell me did you work for your buns or did they come naturally?

Filed Under: are you serious, buns, steel

Enter through the BACK door – Are you Serious?

So tell me. Would you ever bring people into your home through the grassy backyard to enter in through the backdoor? I’m listening.

Are you SERIOUS moments – Starring a 4 year old

Are you serious? – Holidays Part I

WELL, What I didn’t tell you about are those dreaded moments that are quickly approaching that will make you gasp and say

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Today is the day. We are talking about it!! Let’s get started.

Mess with my Child? Are you serious?

Mess with my child? Are you serious?

Bully, intimidate, or make him cry?

Wait for it……………………………

You don’t check your breast? Are you Serious?

Back Seat Driver. Are you serious?

Another Gray Hair! Are you serious?

Card declined. Are you serious?

Me a Vegan, Are you Serious?

Buns of Steel…. Are you Serious?

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So tell me. Would you ever bring people into your home through the grassy backyard to enter in through the backdoor? I’m listening.

WELL, What I didn’t tell you about are those dreaded moments that are quickly approaching that will make you gasp and say

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Today is the day. We are talking about it!! Let’s get started.

Mess with my child? Are you serious?

Bully, intimidate, or make him cry?

Wait for it……………………………

Search

Subscribe via Email

Stay Connected

Grab My Button

Find what you missed

Recent Posts

I’m A Member

Credits

Ramblings